In early August I attended the first OMX 2013 in San Francisco. I went because I've been involved with the Orgasmic Meditation ("OM" for short) community in my hometown of Pittsburgh and my experience has been so helpful and transformative that I knew I for sure wanted to be at OMX, the first-ever OM conference.
(A brief description of OM, from OneTaste.)
(I like to think of OM as an important Tantric technology for this modern age. )
Here's what I learned about orgasm (in OM parlance, "orgasm" means "sexual pleasure, energy" not just the contractions of sexual climax) and myself at OMX.
#1 OMX Discovery: I can be totally orgasmic and totally miserable at the same time
So get this - I had planned to show up at OMX all super-powerful and charming and sexy.
Instead, right before I left for San Francisco a man I care about a lot, The Taoist Punk Rock Sage (we'll just call him the Sage for short) rejected my flirtatious advances with a flat "not interested." And I let this "not interested" diminish my all-powerful-sexy-super-woman glow.
Also, my period started. And I realized I was nearly out of all monetary funds. BUMMER.
And for some unfathomable reason, I decided not to sleep the night before my flight.
So I showed up at OMX as a super-tired, teary, highly-distraught, love-lorn hormonal mess. And I proceeded on that way throughout the weekend.
I wandered through most of the conference - including the very large group OM sessions - completely miserable, brimming with self-pity, and full of incredible resentment towards all the people appearing to feel super-powerful and charming and sexy while I felt like a bleeding, rejected, unloveable, broke-ass pile of snot.
(There were group OMs in a giant auditorium. 1000 pairs OMing at once. No lie. It was intense. I was there. I sobbed pitiably through a lot of it. Rad.)
I felt super-vulnerable while lost in the shuffle of sexy fun time.
I kept trying to force myself to feel awesome and take control of my conference jolly fun time - and failing dramatically.
Happily, on Saturday night a perceptive and compassionate OneTaste staff person (I'll just call her the Angel) caught me looking fully freaked and sat me down and talked to me and brought in more people to talk to me and basically Made It All Way Better.
Somewhere in the conversation with her and the other folks listening to me sob - I heard the phrase, "That's okay. Cry it out. Tears are just the orgasm coming out of your eyes."
Which is a really, really weird sentence.
And it made total sense.
And it helped. As I understand it - in OneTaste, there's this wisdom that it's possible to have lots of sexual energy in your body - a state they call "tumescence" - and to be in a state of rejecting oneself or the world while feeling all this energy - and in that condition, the tumescence feels like giant teary misery.
Suddenly I understood my whole life way better.
I'm learning that one of the major things that OM helps with and that OneTaste teaches is that it's possible to work with that condition of tumescence so as to experience it as pleasure and creative power rather than as negative emotion or overly-inflated addictive highs.
#2 OMX Discovery: My pussy can alchemically turn my misery into hot fun
OMing is all about being present to sensation and connection.
At OMX, I met a lover and an OM partner who's had over 18 months of experience with OMing with various women multiple times a day. So he's an experienced stroker compared to the partners I usually work with in Pittsburgh.
And like, for reals - I helped this man fold his collection of pussy towels (that's what I call the little hand towels used to tidy up fluids after an OM session) - and this pussy towel-folding process took over an hour. That's a lot of pussy towels.
(Innocent hand towel - or pussy towel? You decide.)
Seriously though - this man - we'll call him the Ranger - and his experience impressed me a great deal. He was utterly present with me, extremely empathic, and still managed to take none of my whiny bullshit. It was - simply put, astounding.
The only other man who had ever communicated so well with me was - well, my dear friend from Pittsburgh who OMs and is doing miracles to create the community here. We'll call that great friend the Communicator for now - since he's just so damn good at it.
The Ranger ended up showing me that I can allow all my feelings - including my unpleasant ones - to be fully present in my body while I'm being stroked - and that when I do that, I can end up feeling profoundly touched and deeply connected.
When I OMed with him, he kept insisting that I go ahead and cry if I felt like crying - that I let myself feel all my anger and frustration.
And I did.
And damn - I came really, really, really hard.
Like, climax is not a goal of the OM practice. And I usually don't experience it during a session. But in really letting go into feeling the sensation of those sucky emotions that I often fight hard to avoid - some alchemical transmutation happened and all that misery converted into hot, electric, connected pleasure.
This was a major lesson for me - I've since repeated that letting-go in other OM sessions and have had similarly hot results. I never knew I could do that before - feel my misery with my pussy and have it turn into hotness and connection.
It's a revelation and it's unlocked a new level of sex for me that I didn't really know existed.
So thank you, Ranger.
#3 OMX Discovery: OM generates super-powers in people who do it a lot overtime
So for a time I thought maybe it was just a freak coincidence that my friend the Communicator was really good at tuning into me and listening to me and being present with me.
And I thought maybe it was also just a freak coincidence that I had a giant Kundalini awakening and a huge increase in my psychic perception and general ability to attract synchronicity soon after I started OMing.
And then I met a bunch of people at OMX and in the Bay Area OM communities the week after OMX... and discovered that many people who have been involved in the practice for a while have uncanny magic powers.
Like giant amounts of empathy and psychic perceptiveness.
Not to mention that they tend to offer a quality of deep, penetrating conversational attention that's extraordinarily rare and wonderful.
One man in particular, we'll just call him the Alchemist - stunned me with how rapidly he saw into and spoke to me of depths of myself that almost no one tends to perceive - or if they do, they don't voice it. Especially not within a brief time of meeting me.
The Alchemist told me things about myself within 15 minutes of me talking to him that were utterly true and that I usually keep in close reserve or just don't expect anyone to notice.
It was hot.
So basically what I'm trying to say is that I really want every man and woman in the world to have access to Orgasmic Meditation and to the communication wisdom that OneTaste teaches. Because it goes a long, long way towards creating connection where only frustration existed before.
My experience at OMX 2013 was messy, intense, and ultimately sexy and astounding and loving and magical at a level that it couldn't have shown me if I had shown up in perfect control.
I'm looking forward to learning much more about how to surrender and transmute in this practice -- and to becoming more deeply connected in this community.
I hear there's another OMX planned for December - and I plan to be there.
How about you?
Yay for orgasm. ;)