Posts filed under The Kale Diet

Creamy-Garlicky Tahini Kale with Roasted Eggplant - The Kale Cabbage Diet

So, I'm on Day 9 of my Kale-eating extravaganza, which I'm now doing warrior-style. This means that today I ate some oranges, a banana, a bunch of Creamy-Garlicky Tahini Kale and two pieces of baklava - which means life is pretty good and I'm also at a lovely 1500 calorie total.

Creamy-Garlicky Tahini Kale is all the wonders of the Mediterranean, made very nutrient-dense and yummy and put in your tummy.

Kale is both the epitome of beauty and scrumptiousness. Just like you, friend. If you make this recipe and like it, be sure to email me and tell me all about it:

Now, without further ado, I reveal to you the much-adored...

Creamy-Garlicky Tahini Kale with Roasted Eggplant

Serves 1 hungry kale warrior


  • 1 eggplant
  • 1 bunch kale
  • 1/4 cup chopped canned tomatoes
  • 2 tbsps tahini
  • 1/2 cup vegetable broth
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1.5 tbsps crushed garlic
  • 1 cup cooked quinoa
  • Sriracha chili sauce to taste
  • Lemon juice to taste
  • Salt to taste

To Make

Heat your oven to 400.  Spray some non-stick cooking whatnot onto a baking pan, plop your eggplant therein, and insert into oven.  Blithely forget about eggplant for 40 minutes.

While eggplant bakes, heat broth, water, tomatoes, garlic and tahini altogether in your pan at a medium heat.  As this gets all hot and melty, stir it around to mix it all together.  Good.

Now pet your cat awhile, the eggplant is still baking. Optionally, check Facebook. Friend me while you're at it.

After the eggplant is done baking, take it out of the oven.  Gingerly and over-eagerly rip the thing open (careful! hot!) and scoop its creamy eggplant contents into your broth mixture.  Stir it all up.  Now rip your kale into bits.  Stir your kale around in the broth to make it get wet and steamy.  You might need to sprinkle some more water on it to make it steamier.  Now let that simmer for about 7 minutes until your kale is tender.

Now pile this lovely business atop your hot cooked quinoa.  Maybe stir it all together for a lovely porridge-y effect.  Douse liberally with Sriracha and lemon juice and salt.  Eat, and be merry.

For dessert, if you're also going warrior-style and have the calorie budget to spare, I highly recommend warming up some baklava from a little local bakery and topping it with clementine segments. Yay.

Calories (not including baklava!): about 600



The Kale Diet, Warrior Style - Day 7

Kale Diet Progress Report

So, my weight loss efforts were derailed this week by three social occasions at three lovely restaurants that happened to involve Mexican Dark Chocolate Flourless Cake and Tiramisu and piles of garlic nan.  Hmmm.

I didn't gain any weight, though. I'm holding steady at 150 lbs. So, win.

Also! The awful, dark, puffy circles under my eyes that I gained thanks to months of fathomless misery have disappeared.

This miraculous affect I attribute directly to the vast amount of Vitamin K and Vitamin A that I've been consuming with my daily two bunches of kale.  Vitamin K promotes healthy blood clotting, thus stopping the appearance of dark circles caused by blood drifting out of vessels. Vitamin A improves the health of the blood vessel walls themselves.



The Warrior Diet: Another Approach to Fat Loss

After having a good hard think about my social eating habits, I've decided to modify my version of the Kale Diet so it's a bit more flexible and fits the Warrior Diet pattern.  The Warrior Diet is popular amongst body builders.

The Warrior Diet involves under-eating during the day (i.e., just having some small servings of raw fruits, nuts, and veggies) and then eating whatever you want in the evening for the four hours before bedtime.

It reverses the common notions that one should eat breakfast and avoid heavy meals at night.

Its proponents claim that it aids fat loss and increased energy because it matches the eating patterns of our ancestors who had to hunt and gather all day and only got to eat a big meal around the fire at night.

I'm willing to give it a try because if I'm going to lose and maintain the loss of the stubborn extra 15 lbs I'm carrying around I need a mode of eating that allows for my propensity to go out to dinner with friends a few times a week.

Also, I generally don't even feel like eating until 1 or 2 pm. So, there's that.

My adjusted plan is to eat some raw fruits and veggies during the day (I'm a fan of radishes with wasabi and grapefruit) and then, most nights, to eat a big big meal of kale and black beans and quinoa and chili coconut broth.  On my social nights, I'll do the same day-time light eating and order whatever looks good at the restaurant.  And I promise, I'm someone to whom brussel sprouts look good.  And also Chocolate Cake.

Hopefully, my big meal at night will be around 1000 - 1300 calories, and I'll stay within the amount of calories I need for weight loss. We'll see!

The Warrior Diet: Starting Out

So, today I began with the Warrior-style kale diet.  I had wasabi radishes at 2, some clementines and crackers and a banana at 4, a big pile of Kale in Chili Coconut Broth With Black Beans and Quinoa for dinner, and then popcorn for a snack.  Over all, it wasn't too hard and I came in at 1400 calories.  Pretty good.


The Kale Diet: Day 3 - Purple Kale with Shitake Mushrooms, Ginger and Wasabi Radishes

My adventures on the kale diet continue. I'm shaking things up today with purple kale, which happens to be really pretty.  Look, folks, they don't call it "ornamental" kale for nothin'.  Also, the leaves are a bit firmer and "meatier" than plain green kale. Check it out:

So this recipe is pretty similar to the first one I posted for kale in chili coconut broth, with a few East Asian-inspired twists.  What do you expect from a diet that focusses on five ingredients?  Anyway, this meal is extremely flavorful, highly delicious, and nutrient dense.

Purple Kale with Shitake Mushrooms, Ginger and Wasabi Radishes

(serves 1)


1 bunch purple kale

8 - 10 shitake mushroom caps

1/4 vegetable broth

1/8 cup canned tomato sauce

1 cup canned black beans

1 tbsp coconut oil

1 tbsp crushed garlic

1 tsp powdered ginger

fresh red radishes - as many as your heart desires

A bit of wasabi paste


To make: 

Heat the veggie broth, tomato sauce, coconut oil, crushed garlic and powdered ginger all together in your pan.  Stir together to blend. Tear up the kale leaves and drop those in.  Stir them up and get them coated in broth so they'll steam.  Tear up the shitake mushroom caps and drop those in, along with the black beans.  Cook until everything is tender and hot, about 5 - 7 minutes. Put your lovely kale mixture in your bowl.  Garnish with your red radishes.  Dab each radish with a bit of wasabi paste. Like you're making little radish sushis.

Voila! Eat while feeling very virtuous.  Best when served with grapefruit juice.

Calories: About 350

image: [Randy son of Robert]

Posted on January 27, 2013 and filed under The Kale Diet.

Kale in Chili Coconut Broth with Black Beans and Quinoa

Okay, so this is what I ate for lunch and dinner on Day 1 of the Great Kale Diet. I don't have any photography skillz so you're gonna have to take my word for it - this dish is beautiful, rich, delicious and staggeringly healthful.

Let's talk a bit about its astounding merits: it's vegan, extremely nutrient-dense, easy to make, cheap, filling, scrumptious, and just about 600 calories.

Kale in Chili Coconut Broth with Black Beans and Quinoa

Serves 1


1 bunch kale

1 half cup vegetable broth

1 quarter cup canned chopped tomatoes

1 cup prepared black beans

1 cup prepared quinoa

1 tablespoon coconut oil

Sriracha sauce, to taste


Here's how I make it, in my very lazy fashion:

In a skillet, combine the vegetable broth, coconut oil, and canned chopped tomatoes.  Heat broth on medium until coconut oil melts.  Stir the oil and into the broth.  Tear your bunch of kale into bite-sized bits and drop those into your broth mixture.

Douse the kale with a handful of water to make sure all the leaves are wet.  Turn up the heat a bit.  Stir.  When the leaves look glossy green and tender, drop in your black beans.  Stir it all about for a moment to make sure the black beans get heated through.

Warm up your prepared quinoa and put it on a plate.  Scoop up all your lovely kale and black beans mixture and place that atop your quinoa.  Adorn liberally with bright red sriracha.  Eat and be happy and healthy. Best with a big glass of pink grapefruit juice.


image: [Another Pint Please...]



Posted on January 25, 2013 and filed under The Kale Diet.

The Kale Diet: Embarking

Okay, so I know that I don't tend to stick to my diets unless I blog about them. And I've put on a bit of extra cushion around my middle after too many kind friends brought me too much delicious food for the holidays and my birthday.  I loved those organic dark chocolate truffles as they dissolved on my tongue, but now that they are stubbornly living on my belly I am not quite as fond of them.

Thus, I am going to blog about this diet, friends.

My friend Jane and I came up with it.  We both love the nutritarian eating style recommended by Dr. Furhman, but we find it darn hard to keep up with.  It involves buying and preparing a whole lot of fruit and vegetables.  Jane and I are both a little on the side of - how do you say? broke-  and don't have cars in which to haul groceries. Or a whole lot of free mental energy with which to plan meals. So we decided that for the brief future we're going to eat a very simplified version of the nutritarian diet which just focuses on 4 very nutrient rich and whole foods: grapefruit, kale, black beans, quinoa and coconut oil.  Mmmmmmmm.

The general plan of the diet... to have grapefruit for breakfast and throughout the day as a snack, while eating a meal of kale, black beans, quinoa and coconut oil for lunch and dinner. Obviously one couldn't eat this way for one's entire life. You need a variety of nutrients and phytochemicals.  But for the short-term, it's a pretty ideal way to eat. (Much better, say, than my "two Hot Pockets a day" Supreme Unutterable Misery diet that I ate this fall in the midst of an astoundingly deep depression induced by dramatic romantic mishap - I lost weight on it but I probably also shortened my lifespan by a few years with all that weird processed junk and inconsolable crying).

Here's why our Kale Diet is so damn great:

Kale - crowning the ANDI index at a ravishingly glorious 1000 points, this dark and lovely vegetable has more nutrients per calorie than anything else. Those nutrients include big doses of vitamin A, C, and K, along with B6, magnesium, and sulphur-containing phytonutrients.  It's also way high in fiber.

Grapefruit - is a low-sugar citrus fruit, which means that it's alkalizing for the body.  There's pretty substantial evidence that  the body thrives in an alkaline state and becomes subject to cancer and other ills when it's in an acidic state. It's high in enzymes that help the body burn fat and lowers your insulin levels, which reduces the body's tendency to store fat in its cells.  It's also highly detoxifying - so much so that it's dangerous to eat it with certain medications because it causes those medications to be released more rapidly in the body.

Black beans - they're dense with insoluble fiber and protein and flush with antioxidant and minerals.

Quinoa - it's got the most protein of any grain, with all nine of the essential amino acids. It's also got almost twice as much fiber as any other grain. Also, iron. Epic winning.

Coconut oil - the naturally-occurring saturated fat in coconut oil has been show to increase the metabolism and protect against heart disease. Also, it's full of this magic molecule called lauric acid which has antiviral and antibacterial properties that aid your immune system. It also consists of medium-chain fatty acids which your body finds very difficult to store as fat - and instead burns for energy.  Dr. Joseph Mercola points out that coconut oil is actually the only oil that's stable enough to healthfully use for cooking - every other oil, including olive oil - oxidizes at cooking temperatures and therefore becomes toxic. Also - it's delicious.

The digits So, planning on eating 3 grapefruits, two bunches of kale, 1 cup of quinoa, 2 cups of black beans and 2 tablespoons of coconut oil per day brings me and Jane to about 1200 calories, 52 grams of fat, 36 grams of fiber a day.  And a fuck ton of nutrients. Yay!

The idea, of course, is not just to slenderize but also to maximize our healthfulness, good karma, and vitality.

Currently, I'm weighing in at 145 lbs.  I'm trying to miniaturize myself by 10 lbs, so I'll keep you posted as to my progress.  This will involve a thrilling daily check-in wherein I let you know exactly what I've eaten (will she or won't she resist pizza with friends? oh, the suspense!), how my moods and health seem to be affected, and share with you my tips for making kale tasty.

Maybe you'll get inspired.

Posted on January 24, 2013 and filed under The Kale Diet.