Posts tagged #what does my dream mean

Dream #4: Mr. Hyde at Family Dollar, Hanging with the bad kids

Thinking Aloud Maybe it's better that in the dream log I just offer dreams without any ruminations. More mysterious that way, no?

 

 

Mr. Hyde at Family Dollar

I'm milling around Family Dollar, writing on a notebook in pink lipstick -- except I haven't bought either the notebook or the lipstick yet. I have a big pile of stuff in a cart that I don't really want to buy.  I start putting some of it in my purse.  Then I have this moment of clarity like-- hey, wait a minute-- what am I doing?  Then somehow the knowledge comes to me that I've been on a spree of stealing and other questionable activity for days and days, but totally blacked out and taken over by some other personality-- a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation. I drop the notebook and the lipstick, leave the other stuff in the cart and exit the store.

 

The Bad Kids

Next thing I know I'm all wrapped up with a group of people who reminded me of the ne'er do-well art students I hung out with right after high school.  They dress in black leather.  They always have very tough dogs and very improbably tender little woodland animals (bunnies and squirrels) on leashes with them.  They roll up into my house with their little bunnies on leashes; put on pounding electronic music, then set up cameras to film themselves and me sleeping and having sex.  They regard this not as pornography exactly but as an especially important art project.  There's a sense of family around them, as if they all belong to each other.  I have the feeling that whether I'm okay with it or not, they've adopted me into this family and consider me one of them.  There's a big to-do about setting up the cameras just right on the tripods.  I feel like I love them and I want them but I'm afraid of them and what they might end up doing to me as they carry an aura of violence.

Posted on September 29, 2011 and filed under Dream Journal.

Dream #2: The Red Velvet Room with Two Sisters, The Urine-Soaked Sweater, and the Spiritual Conspiracy

The Dreams  

A red velvet room.  I'm interacting with and watching two teenaged girls who are a chubby and so distressed by it-- they feel left out of all social happenings, scorned, inferior.  Both of the girls have long dark hair.  They're sisters.  The younger one is thinner than the older one, but the younger one is more distressed and more self-conscious.

 

 

I'm getting ready to clean a broken toilet and the sleeve of my favorite sweater, the one with the fur collar, drops in and gets soaked with urine.  I'm momentarily repulsed but I decide to clean it in the sink by letting it soak in water with soft detergent. I feel a kind of pride in this simple hands-on laundry action. My mother is in the background, working on her own stuff.

 

There's a kind of conspiracy plot going on which looks shady but which is actually designed to help me.  I'm a young, male high school athlete who gets coerced into going out to the wrong side of the rail road tracks late at night to meet up with a gang of thugs who have something I really want.  I show up there and have a kind of tense confrontation-- after I leave, a figure steps out of the shadows and pays the thugs big piles of cash for going through the whole drama with me-- the figure paying the thugs is talking to them about my spiritual growth and his hopes for my future, explaining to them about how hard it is for me to have to talk to and work with disreputable characters like themselves.

 

The Feelings, the Associations

 

So, first off the red velvet room reminded me immediately of Twin Peaks. Except my dream was a lot less freaky, sadly.

 

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXRC9bMzRUU

 

I get a sense that the two dark-haired sisters who are self-conscious about chubbiness might represent my present and past self-- when I was younger I was thinner than I am now and also a lot more hung-up about it.  Today, I'm working on losing some pounds, but I'm doing it all crazy-healthy like, via a nutritarian diet. Seemed like the dream was speaking to me about lingering anxieties that I have in that arena.

 

My beautiful sweater getting soaked in urine -- a frustrating result of my own carelessness (why did I have the sweater with me in the bathroom to begin with?)-- this felt like a very daily, unsurprising misfortune that might happen to me-- but there was something about this object which is so sleek, sexy and nice getting all messed up in the toilet which was particularly gross. To get a little Freudian, I think it make have something to do with feeling like my sexuality is being dirtied or lowered.

 

My pride in the simple solution of soaking the thing in soapy water -- a feeling of resourcefulness, of joy in knowing how to do slight house-wifey type stuff.  My mother's presence-- seem to suggest her own hard work, her own sexual issues mirroring mine.

 

Finally, the conspiracy between the figure and the hoodlums might be the most interesting dream of the night.  It gives me some hope-- like maybe some of the scary and difficult things going on for me right now might all really just be agents of a force who's working for my higher good.  Wouldn't that be sweet?

 

The Mystery

The mystery of the dirtied sweater is the plaintive song of a dead crooner.

 

Your Response to Me

As perpetually, I'm open to hearing your thoughts about what any of these dreams mean-- and I'm also interested to hear what you've been dreaming about lately?

 

Love!

Carolyn